


My Lovely Angel

by curiouskoala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Loves Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sad Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:59:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4595547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curiouskoala/pseuds/curiouskoala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel was sad but not because Dean had kissed him. He was sad because Dean was pretending nothing happened. Unfortunately for Cas, his sadness was starting to show</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Lovely Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!!!  
> This was something that I wrote at 2am and it was my first oneshot.  
> I hope you like it!!  
> If you see any mistakes please tell me so I can correct them  
> Constructive criticism is appreciated.  
> Thanks for reading!!!!  
>  -KB-

  Castiel was sad. He was sad and he didn't like it. Worst part was that he couldn't fix it.  
He was sad because of Dean.   
  Dean Winchester had kissed him a few nights ago.  
  They had been sitting together on his bed. Sam was already sleeping and Cas had decided to talk to the older Winchester. Before they said their goodbyes, Dean had leaned forward and captured his lips for a few moments. Cas, too shocked to move, only responded to half of the kiss. They had parted and Cas had flown away.  
  He wasn't sad because Dean had kissed him, he was sad because Dean was pretending nothing had happened.  
  The morning after the kiss, Cas visited the brothers again expecting something different in his relationship with him but Dean had said nothing. He acted normal, acted like Cas was just a _friend_.  
  So Castiel was sad.   
  Dean was still flirting and sleeping with women he met in bars. He still talked about his sexual conquests to him and Sam. Those words hurt Cas so much but he couldn't do anything because every time he tried to talk to him about it, either they got interrupted or Dean ignored his attempts and changed the subject.  
  So Castiel was sad and it had started to shown.  
  He wouldn't eat with the brothers. He didn't talk as much. He stopped asking questions because he didn't care about the answer. He didn't have the energy to fly when he wanted. He started to get distracted while they talked to him to the point where they had to shout his name to get his attention, like now for example.  
  "CAS!"  
  "Yes?"  
  "Dammit Cas! We've been calling your name for minutes!" Said Dean angrily.  
  "...I'm sorry. I got distracted"  
  "You've been doing that a lot, Cas. Is everything alright?" Asked Sam.  
  Ah yes! Sam. He actually cared about him. He didn't ignore him.  
  'Why couldn't I have fallen for Sam?' Thought Cas.  
  "Everything is fine"  
  "If you say so"  
  They were in the bunker, resting for once. No case had shown up so they took the day off. Sam was reading, Dean was half watching TV, half asleep and Cas was... Cas was sitting in one of the chairs they had in the living room doing nothing.  
  A few hours later (or at least that's what Cas thought it was although it could have been minutes), Sam got out to get food and Dean had woken up and was watching a movie.  
  "Hey Cas! Come watch this with me" he demanded.  
  Castiel didn't really felt like it but he didn't want to disappoint him so he sat next to him on the couch while Dean pressed play.  
  Through the whole movie, Cas watched silently. So silently that he spooked Dean.  
  "Hey man, what's wrong with you? You don't ask one single question about the movie"  
  "Maybe I didn't need to" he said so unlikely of him that Dean was surprised.  
  Sam returned with two bags of food and set them on the table. They all sat down around it and took out their respective food. Dean and Cas took out their burgers and Sam took out his salad.  
  They started to eat but the angel just stared at it. He took one bite and set the burger down again.  
  "Why aren't you eating Cas?" Asked Sam.  
  "I'm... Not hungry"  
  When they finished their lunch, the brothers heard something completely unexpected.  
  "Sam? Can I use your bed? I'm tired"  
  "Uh sure Cas"  
  He took his trenchcoat off and lie down. He fell asleep immediately.  
  "What's wrong with him?" Asked Sam "Since when does he need to sleep?"  
  "I don't know, don't ask me. I have no idea what it may be"  
  "Are you sure? Cause he gets more like this when you're around"  
  "No idea"  
  Of course Dean knew what the reason was but he wasn't aware he was hurting him so badly. Dean thought he was doing the right thing.  
  When he had kissed him, he wasn't thinking correctly. It had been a long day and, somehow, he ignored every reason he had not to do it. It was no lie that he loved the angel. He didn't denied it to himself, maybe to everybody else, but not to himself. He loved him but he could never have something with him. The poor man probably didn't even understand what had happened... At least that was what Dean thought. But he loved him with all his heart.  
  When Cas woke up, it was late afternoon.   
  "Hey guys, I'm going to bed. I'm going to take the time to sleep since I never get to do that. Good night" said Sam.  
  Great. They were now in the same situation they were the night if the kiss.  
  "You don't have to stay here, Cas" said Dean.  
  Cas ignored him.  
  "You don't have to be watching over us all the time"  
  Cas still ignored him.  
  "Cas? Great! You're doing that thing again where you don't listen to us talking"  
  Cas still ignored him.  
  "You know, we're getting worried. We care about you"  
  That! That he couldn't ignore.  
  "Care? About me?" He started "Since when do you care about me?"  
  "Cas I-"  
  "You, Dean Winchester, you don't care about me. You made that pretty clear"  
  "Cas just listen to-"

  "No you listen to me! You played with my feelings Dean! I actually thought it meant something! But I was stupid enough to believe that Dean freaking Winchester, the man who hates chick flick moments, the man who sleeps with every hot girl he finds, the man who likes his car more than his family, actually had feelings FOR ME!"  
  At this point, Dean was looking at him with wide eyes not because of the shouting. Cas was crying.  
  "How could I, an angel of the Lord, be this stupid? Falling in love with someone who will never like me back"  
  "Cas, you got it all wrong!"  
  "Oh please Dean. Face it! You are ashamed of kissing me!"  
  A few seconds of silence passed until Castiel resumed his speech.  
  "I am not good enough for you" he said whispering while cleaning a few tears from his face "I won't ever be good enough"  
  "Cas please listen to what I have to say"  
  When he didn't say anything, Dean proceeded.  
  "I kissed you without any warning and yes, I pretended nothing happened but that's because I thought... I thought... I felt like I was taking advantage of you"  
  Cas was surprised.  
  "I tried to say I was sorry so many times but I couldn't because I'm a coward. Every time you tried to talk about it I chickened out"  
  "Why did you feel you were taking advantage of me?" He asked whispering.  
  "You're always so innocent. You're always so... Perfect and I thought that you didn't really wanted me. I thought you were only experimenting another of humans' things and by wanting more of you, I would be corrupting you. I never meant to cause you pain but since that's all I can ever do, please forgive me"  
  Silence. That's all there was.  
  "...Cas? Please say something"  
  "I love you"  
  "....What?"  
  "Do I really need to say it again? You heard me"  
  "Don't you hate me? Shouldn't you hate me? Why don't you hate me?"  
  "Dean, we were both afraid of each other's reactions but if we put that aside, I have always loved you"  
  Dean, not able to hold himself anymore, kissed him with all his might. They parted, panting and blushed.  
  "I love you too Cas. And don't think for a second that I don't care about you ok? I'd do anything for you. You are family and I. Love. You" he said wiping away Cas's tears.  
  Suddenly they heard a noise from the bed.  
  "Finally!" Sam exclaimed "Thank God you guys confessed! It was getting unbearable! Now excuse me, I'm going to sleep" he said before falling asleep in a second.  
  "Hey Dean?"  
  "Yeah Cas?"  
  "What happened to that burger I didn't eat?"  
  "It's in the fridge, why?"  
  "I'm hungry"  
  "Let's eat then"  
  And Castiel wasn't sad anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Do you have anything you'd like me to write?  
> PM me and I'll think about it!  
> Thanks for reading!!!!  
>  -KB-


End file.
